Maggie’s behaviour is very expressive. This is our evolving manual of understanding what Maggie’s behaviour is communicating. These are our observations as her parents since we think we know her best. We understand that she may behave differently with you than us and we encourage you to fill in the blanks in this document with your own observations. We also encourage you to ask us questions about what you observe. We look forward to incorporating your experiences with Maggie into this document too.
Maggie is a complex person who has her own valid reasons for why she does what she does. She has experienced extraordinary challenges and lived to keep smiling about it. We expect everyone who works with her to respect the challenges she has overcome and value her unique perspective. She is ready and able to be challenged, to learn and to grow.
Maggie is usually cheerful, flexible, and well-behaved. Maggie can be mischievous but is never mean-spirited. She can play rough but is not aggressive. She goes with the flow and follows directions unless there is a very exciting alternative. If Maggie is not behaving like this, then something is wrong. The information below is to help you troubleshoot what could be happening and to respond appropriately to what her behaviour is communicating.
The information below is organized first by parts of Maggie’s body. We started at the top. The first body part is things she does with her head; the last is her feet.When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Grabs her head with both hands, particularly the left side, is whiny |
Is likely feeling the onset of a migraine |
Call parents to come take her home |
Has red flushed cheeks |
Is over-heated; |
Physically cool her down by removing a layer of clothing and take her somewhere cool, give her water to drink |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Appears to be staring into space |
Could be daydreaming or tired |
Make a note in the communication book |
Stares off into space and is not responsive when you touch her or talk to her |
Is likely having absence seizures |
Call parents |
Stares straight ahead or to the side, mouth moves as though she is chewing, not responsive to being touched; gags or vomits |
Is likely having a complex partial seizure |
Lay her on her side. |
Stares intently at objects out of reach |
Wants to touch and explore them |
Give them to her if possible; use language to tell her she wants that; if she can’t have them, explain you understand she wants it and explain why she can’t have it. |
Stares intently at objects all around her |
Is fascinated by her environment and wants to fully explore it |
Watch for opportunities to share joint attention and get her objects she is looking at so she can explore them. Maggie is highly curious but often doesn’t vocalize to bring attention to the fact she needs help to see something closer. Ask her questions like “do you see that box on the shelf? Are you curious about the box? Should we open it? Let’s open it together!” |
Appears to avoid looking directly at anything or at obstacles on the floor |
Is making excellent and unusual use of her peripheral vision |
Assume that even though she isn’t looking directly at something or someone, she is still likely intensely aware of it/them. Encourage her interest and give her words for her interest, like “that animal looks soft and furry. Should we touch it and find out?” |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Puts things in her mouth |
Is hungry; |
Feed her; |
Drools heavily |
Is tired or body is stressed; |
Make note in communication book; attach her “dapper” to her waist band and encourage her to dry her own mouth and chin. Apply barrier cream to her face if becoming chapped. |
Has fingers in mouth and will not remove them |
Is tired and disorganized, or |
Make note in communication book; call parents if interferes with fun, motivating activities |
Clamps down with her teeth on an object in her mouth and won't release it |
Very hungry; |
Feed her; |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Vocalizes while reaching for something like an object or a cup |
Wants the object or drink of water |
Give it to her if possible; if not possible, tell her you understand she wants it and explain why she can't have it. |
Makes lots of loud exclamations |
Is excited and feels GREAT! |
Remind her to be quiet during quiet activities if it disturbs others |
Grunts |
Is having a bowel movement |
Tell her she needs to sit on potty and take her to toilet |
Laughs so much that it appears uncomfortable or is disruptive |
Is over-stimulated or disorganized |
Help her calm herself by removing her from the situation, physically cool her down by taking her to a quiet dark room, take her on a walk |
Laughs uncontrollably, grabs people, flaps her hands so hard it seems she could fall over, hurts anyone |
Is over-stimulated and likely manic; could be on the verge of seizures |
First, make her control her own body. |
Bites a person |
Is very hungry; |
Immediately call parents; remove her to a place where she can’t be hurt |
Bites objects |
Is very hungry; |
Feed her; |
Cries when an activity is over or someone is leaving and she can't follow |
Doesn't want the activity to end or the person to go |
Tell her you understand she wants the activity to continue/person not to leave but they can’t and then distract her. |
Cries when she hears a raised voice |
Is concerned for someone else; |
Reassure her everyone is okay; |
Cries inconsolably, screams |
Could have a migraine or a broken bone |
Call parents immediately |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Has red or dry-feeling hands and arms, may scratch at dry or scaly skin on cheeks, arms or legs |
Is dehydrated or overheated; |
Help her cool down and offer her something to drink; |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Grabs other children |
Is committing crimes of opportunity |
Remove the opportunity. Use firm cold voice and tell her to control her hands, we touch soft and gentle. Demonstrate soft and gentle on her own hands. |
Grabs hair of other children |
Is committing crimes of opportunity |
Remove the opportunity. Use firm cold voice to tell her we touch hands, not heads, not hair. Demonstrate by touching her own hands. |
Grabs at arms or hands of other people |
Wants their attention |
Reward this behaviour. It is very appropriate. Give her your full attention. Thank her for touching your hand or arm so nicely; this is her substitute for using her voice to ask for attention. |
Grabs other children or pulls hair, has flushed red cheeks, laughs hard, cannot make eye contact |
Is very over-stimulated and getting manic |
Remove her to a cool quiet place, take her for a walk, cool her down, call parents if it continues more than 30 minutes. |
Grabs other people while making loud, anxious vocalizations |
Is asking to be rescued; is likely restrained |
Release her from restraint |
Grabs cups and/or cries at sight of water |
Is thirsty |
Give her a drink |
Grabs objects she is not allowed to have |
Wants to explore them |
Explain it is not for Maggie and put out of reach (preferably out of sight); tell her you understand she wants to see it but she can't have it and you are sorry, distract her |
Grabs an object but drops it when you try to show her how to use it |
Thinks she wasn't allowed to have it; |
Demonstrate how to use it while holding it out of reach, then offer it to her again |
Drops an object when you tell her to be careful with it |
Thinks she wasn't allowed to have it and is being scolded |
Demonstrate careful handling, tell her to be soft and gentle and give it to her again |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Kicks other children |
Is committing crimes of opportunity |
Remove the opportunity. Tell her to control her feet, we touch with hands, not with feet. Give her an opportunity to kick at your next opportunity, like kicking a ball in gym. |
Is walking towards a curb or step |
May not see the curb or step |
Say "Maggie! Do you see the step? There is a step up (or step down), Maggie!" |
Keeps walking backwards or turning around in the opposite direction |
Likely wants to be with the people behind her |
Maggie is a follower, not a leader! Have the people behind go ahead and Maggie will likely happily follow. |
Keeps stopping to check out every door/coat hook/backpack/bulletin board |
Finding the journey to be more exciting than the destination |
Walk on ahead and call to her in an excited voice to come to you. Be more interesting than the distractions. |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Lays on ground to rest |
Is tired from poor sleep |
Let her rest; if a "power nap" or a new activity boosts her up then she is just tired. |
Lays on ground and is tired and whiny |
Is very tired, sick or exhausted. |
If she doesn’t perk up after a change of activity or an attempt at a power nap, call parents to take her home. |
Won't stay seated |
She wants to be moving |
Tell her you understand she wants to get up but she has to be seated. As soon as possible let her go for a walk. |
Appears to “jump the gun” and take off too quick for a new activity |
Is anticipating a transition and is excited for it |
Expect that Maggie will predict patterns of favourite activities. Try to prepare for this by having the next activity ready to go. For example, if you say, “time for recess!”, expect she will go straight to the door for recess and be frustrated if it’s not really time for recess because FIRST we need to put outdoor shoes on. Put shoes on first, then say “time for recess!” |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Squirms and tries to get off the potty |
If it’s been less than 2 hours since she last peed, then she simply doesn’t have to go. |
Let her get up |
Squirms and tries to get off the potty peed |
If it’s been at least 2 hours or more since she last peed, then she probably hasn't stopped to concentrate to pee |
Buckle her in and tell her it’s time to go pee; ask her "where is the pee? show me the pee!"; |
Puts her hands in the toilet while sitting to go pee |
Is likely anticipating going pee and wants to feel it run through her hands |
Remind her that hands stay in our laps not in the toilet |
When Maggie does... |
It means she... |
You should... |
Ignores a first instruction |
Is testing to see if it was a suggestion or command |
Use a firm, cool tone of voice and repeat the instruction; be prepared to take her hand and enforce the instruction |
Ignores simple verbal instructions |
Thinks she can get away with ignoring you |
Take her hand and enforce the instruction; avoid letting her get away with ignoring you |
Hides or curls her body downwards into a ball when given verbal instructions |
Thinks you can't see her if she hides and therefore she won't have to do something |
Take her hand and enforce the instruction |
Cries when you take her hand to enforce an instruction |
Is truly distressed by what you are asking |
Kneel at her level, tell her you understand she doesn’t want to do something but we need to do this now, |
Ignores you or only briefly looks at you when you are trying to show her an interesting object to work with
|
Finds the object or you less interesting than whatever has her attention |
Be more interesting than whatever has her attention. Use sounds, music, bright colours and bright lights, an enthusiastic tone of voice and interesting textures to capture her attention. Turn your back to her and let her only catch glimpses of something you exclaim over with enthusiasm. Hide an object out of reach or crinkle a bag with something in it. Her curiosity will get the best of her! |